saturdays saturdays

It's the weekend. Always a plus. I got lots of new scrap supplies- even more of a plus.

Other than that I feel kinda blah and short fused.

I hate feeling like that.

Sometimes its so hard not to.

I'm generally happy with the way my life is minus gaining weight. Every now and then I feel like I should at least try to feel pretty. I took lots of extra time to feel pretty today. I put on a lot more makeup than usual. And it worked briefly. Then of course I see 3908 girls that I know are prettier than me, and its so hard to believe that anyone could find me attractive. So why bother? I feel like its an uphill battle. I want so bad to lose weight, but I don't want to not eat delicious food. I don't have the willpower to be beautiful. That's a depressing thought. Maybe I'm destined to be mediocre.

Some people work hard at their beauty. Some were born with it, and will never have to do much of anything to be stunning.

Doesn't that just piss you off?

I'm the only one that can change how I feel. Will I? Probably not. I've felt the same way since I was 12.

I need some beautiful weather, some newness, or maybe I just need to be happy with me as I am.